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NEW HEADING 1
The Different Style of Parenting and their effects
March 14, 2013James F Byrnes Freshman Academy
Today in America, children are being raised by parents in many different ways. The ultimate question is: What is good parenting and what is bad parenting?
"The idea of being a parent is exciting but it's a little scary; what if you get it wrong? There's so much you have to know and so many things you have to decide,” said Joel D in the article: Parenting Styles/Children's Temperaments: The Match by Anita Gurian.
According to the work of Diana Baumrind, there are four types of parenting: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved.
Authoritarian parenting basically means being harsh, having strict rules and being almost dictator-like in leading children. Authoritarian parents stress obedience over everything and expect much out of their children.
Although for some families authoritarian parenting may seem the route to go, it can have long term negative effects on children. Some of the effects are low self esteem, low self worth, overly submissiveness, lack of independent thought, trouble showing emotions, stress, a primary choice of brute force, and victimization of bullying because they are not able to do things that “normal” kids do.
Children of authoritarian parents are more likely to rebel than obey. “They’re basically teaching kids how to be sneaky,” said Macala, a student at BFA. According to a survey at BFA, 6 out of 30 students have authoritarian parents.
However, authoritative parents are shown to “listen to their children, encourage independence, place limits, consequences and expectations on their children’s behavior, express warmth and nurturance, allow children to express opinions, administer fair and consistent discipline and encourage children to discuss options” according to Kendra Cherry.
Children of authoritative parents are found live happier, have emotional control and regulation, develop good social skills and have self confidence. Fourteen out of 30 students in a BFA parenting survey said that they have authoritative parents.
A student at BFA said he/she thought authoritative parenting was the best style of parenting. “I think this because it’s only showing that the parents care enough to punish you, but love you enough to handle the consequences of your own mistakes.”
Some parents like to let their children learn from their own mistakes; they are called permissive parents. Permissive parents back off from their children more than authoritative would and let them figure out life for themselves.
Kendra Cherry said that some of the effects of Permissive parenting are they “have few rules or standards of behavior, when there are rules, they are often very inconsistent, are usually very nurturing and loving towards their kids, often seem more like a friend rather than a parent, and use bribery to get children to behave.”
According to a survey at BFA, 18 out of 30 students think that permissive parenting should be the way to go. “It prepares you better for the real world and helps you to be more mature,” said one student surveyed. In the survey, 9 out of 30 students said they have permissive parents.
Although the majority of students surveyed at BFA think that permissive parenting is the best type of parenting, children raised by permissive parents may lack self-discipline, have poor social skills, become selfish and spoiled, and feel insecure because they have very little boundaries or guidelines. “Children and teens need boundaries to make decisions. They don’t have enough experience, knowledge and brain development to make wise decisions, “said Mr. Odom, an assistant principal at BFA.
Lastly there are uninvolved parents. “Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child's needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive or even completely neglectful. These parents have little emotional involvement with their kids. While they provide for basic needs like food and shelter, they are uninvolved in their children's lives,” said Kendra Cherry in What is Uninvolved Parenting.
The effects of uninvolved parenting are many and almost always negative. Children with neglectful, uninvolved parents find it harder to do what’s right and “end up searching for and finding other avenues to fill voids,” Mr. Odom stated.
Generally, children of permissive and uninvolved parents seem to not do as well in school as children of authoritative and authoritarian children because of a lack of discipline. Mr. Skoby, a physiologist at Byrnes, said, “Authoritative [parented children] are generally equipped to be someone independent and are able to work with their peers and deal with authority with respect while following rules. They bring flexibility…”
The role of a parent is very significant in a child’s life. “From the day you’re born parenting has effects…” said Mr. Skoby.