The Top 43 Signs Of 16th Region March Madness
March 7, 2009 By AJ Stadelmeyer of Paul G Blazer High School
Here Are The Top 43 Signs That You Have Been Infected With The 16th Region March Madness Virus By AJ "Doc" Stadelmeyer MA, ATC
#43 It's Friday night during regional week, and you do not have a game. You go out to eat with your family, and you run into other teams coaches and their famlies at the same resturant that you eat at. #42 You realize that you say the phrase "survive and advance" more than once a day, and that it is the only time of the year that you say that. #41 When you see a school bus on the highway, you try to figure out what school the bus is from, what team is on the bus, and whether they won or lost their game. #40 Your "library" at home consists mostly of past game programs from the last 25 years district and region basketball tournaments, region All A tournaments and Ashland Invitational Tournament programs. #39 Your cell phone service cuts off your phone because you maxed out your text message limit trying to get updates on games in progress. #38 You go to your schools athletic trainer and borrow some pre-wrap to use as a hair tie. #37 At your work place, you have your employer install a loud horn or buzzer that goes off when your work day is over so that you know when it's time to go home. #36 You have a constant headache from inhaling the carbon monoxide in the bus exhaust from the team buses you have been following to games all week. #35 You are a coach, it is 10:00 PM on a Sunday night, and you are at school doing lesson plans (ie picking videos for your classes to watch this week) and breaking down game film, instead of spending quality time with your family. This is worse if you are not a coach. #34 You get confused and think that spending quality time with your family is going to practice and team meetings. #33 You wear your pajamas backwards and flush ice cubes down your toilet on school nights in order to get a snow day from school on game days , so that your team can rest and get extra practice and film time. #32 OK, I get superstitious, but not washing your lucky underwear and game socks is a little nasty. #31 You go deep into your closet and pull out your Buddy Biggs fan faces from the 2007 tournament. #30 You start trying to figure out tax deductions for trips to games, mileage, concessions, admission costs, programs, souvineers, silly hats and noise makers. #29 You actually start to lose weight because concession stands do not take credit or debt cards. #28 You have actually been to the metropolises of Lloyd, Cannonsburg, Sandy Hook, West Liberty, Frenchburg, Morehead, Russell, Grayson, Flemingsburg, Olive Hill, Worthington, Owingsville, and Vanceburg at least once in the last 2 months. #27 You check http://school21.ihigh.com on an hourly basis for updates, stories, stats, rosters and current photos. #26 If a co-worker/fellow student misses work or school, you try to find out if they will be available for the next days game. You ask for a doctors note and injury report when they return. #25 You spend more time on Bluegrass Preps than you do eating, sleeping, bathing or working. #24 You do an internet people search to find out the home addresses, phone numbers, places of work, medical history, eye exam results, and family trees of all of the officials working this years tournament. #23 You know that March is always National Athletic Training month because you remember hearing the announcement every night at the tournament for the last 5 years. #22 You have actually eaten at (and survived) eating at Penny Mart in Sandy Hook, KY, and you are not an Elliott County fan. #21 If you get a splinter, cold, headache, blister, cut or bruise, you go to see your schools athletic trainer instead of your family doctor. #20 Your morning routine includes immediately getting on Bluegrass Preps.com to see if anyone has been talking smack about you or your team. #19 If someone bumps into you at the water cooler or store, you immediately start arguing about whether they fouled you or not. You check to see if anyone got it on film. #18 You think that the four food groups are hotdogs, nachos, cold pizza, and popcorn. #17 What day it is slips your mind, but you know the locations, start times, and opponents for all of the boys and girls basketball tournament games in the region. #16 You go to watch games not involving your favorite team, in gyms other than your schools gym, on the nights that your team is not playing. #15 You have not purchased groceries in two weeks because you are eating all of your meals at concession stands and in hospitality rooms. #14 When you throw trash away, you shoot it into the trash basket, you yell "three" if you make it, you hang a piece of paper with a 3 on it off of your desk, and you dance around the room. #13 When your team shoots free throws at the end of the game, they say that the huge, wide basketball rim they played with in November now looks like a Dixie cup. #12 Every adult man or woman that you talk to during the week can be addressed as "coach". #11 You have framed copies of the Daily Independent district and region match ups and predictions hanging next to your desk. Of course you don't need them, because you have them memorized. #10 You try to get your state representitive to sponsor a bill making the day of the KHSAA State Tournament bracket draw a state holiday. #9 The coaches' spouses won't stay in the room with their loved one for more than a minute or two because their spouse has not changed their coaching clothing in more than a week. #8 When you ask someone "what time is it?", you mistakenly ask "what quarter are we in?" #7 Every time that you go to the restroom or soda pop machine at work or school, you call a time out. #6 When it is time to leave classs or work, you start counting down the seconds, then tenths of seconds. #5 After your team wins it's tournament game, you rush home and get on the Internet to find out what happened in all of the other games in the region and state, and to look for photos and stories from your teams game. #4 You get so superstitous that you wear the same clothing to every game, you eat the same things on game day, you drive to school or work the same way on game days, you stand in the same place during pre-game warm ups, and when you cross railroad tracks driving to the game, you lift your feet AND touch metal. #3 You say goodbye to your family in the morning by singing "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye". #2 The only time your coaches and athletic trainer buys new dress clothing is at tournament time; three new shirts, three new ties, three pairs of pants, and new shoes. #1 On February 24th, 2009, you printed and framed a copy of the article from ESPN.com about Elliott County boys basketball, and about basketball in the Kentucky 16th region. |